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Joshua's Internet Humor Archive

I have taken the absolute best of the forwarded e-mails I've received (the ones that made me laugh out loud), removed those ridiculous >'s and the hard returns, added color, cleaned up the formatting, and posted them here for your enjoyment.

More importantly, in those few cases where an author is known, I have given them credit. If posting any of these pieces violates the author's copyright please e-mail me immediately so that I can remove it from the site.

If something is an Urban Legend, I have marked it as such.

As a Netiquette note: you might want to visit the Urban Legends Search Engine from the Urban Legends Reference Pages before you forward any type of e-mail to anyone.

You are welcome to e-mail links to these pages to people, rather than mailing them the entire text of the stories.  They will probably thank you for it.

There may be some colorful language in a few of these.  Consider yourself warned.

Top Ten - Amish Teen - Signs that your Amish teenager is in trouble (by Dennis Regling)

Top Ten - HMO - Top ten signs that you are in a low-budget HMO

Top Ten - M. Stewart - Top ten signs that you are being stalked by Martha Stewart.

Top Ten - Nationality - Top ten reasons to be from certain countries.

148 Bad Thesis Defenses - I know these are silly, but they do make me laugh out loud.

Adultery Jokes - Adultery isn't remotely funny, but these jokes are. New!

Air Force Maintenance - Officer complains / NCO replies (Urban Legend?)

Air Traffic Control - Unlikely conversations with Air Traffic Controllers New!

An Ordinary Loan - Ahhh...government bureaucracy.  (Urban Legend)

Army Ranks - For those of you who want to know what Army ranks mean.

AT&T Call - A conversation with a telemarketer. (by Robert Byron)

Bad Bread - Just proves what they say about lies and statistics.

Beer Troubleshooting - Critical for proper bar functioning.

Biblical Wife - Fifteen biblical ways to find a wife

Bless Your Heart - It's all true

Bomb Mr. Johnson - It makes sense, doesn't it? (by Terry Jones)

Bovine-agra - Got any extra of that?

Bubba - This is a variant of the oldest joke I know.

Bumper Stickers - Feel free to send in more

Chalk - My own attempt at an urban legend

Why Chicken, Why? - Political figures answer an age-old question

Chicken Wire - Watcha got there?

Are You Ready for Parenthood? - Of course not, but at least you can laugh about it.

New Children's Book Titles - Maybe if George Carlin were Dr. Seuss

Colonel Angus - You can never have too much of the Col. (SNL Transcripts)

Dangerous Viruses - Please don't take any of these seriously.

Deacon and Boy - Not funny.  Pure glurge.  But I like it.

Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! - Related to the bread one - encourages brain usage

Divorce Humor - I really just wanted somewhere to put the Robin Williams quote.

E-Mail Facts of Life - Are you a compulsive e-mail forwarder?  Please read.

Engineer Humor - You must be an engineer

Funny Signs - They'd be funnier if there were pictures of them in-use

GM & Microsoft - If GM were like Microsoft (Urban Legend)

Gandhi - With affection and the utmost respect

Gilligan & The Seven Deadly Sins - If nothing else, it made a useful mnemonic in seminary

And God Said - Washington Post Piece on Evolution & Public Schools

God's TQM Questionnaire - Not really sure where to turn this in

Gravy Ladle - I'm not saying you did or you didn't

Error Haiku - In turmoil - Humor settles - Leaf on data stream

History of Medicine - Short, but to the point.

Holy Cow - Birds, Bees, and Cows

Holy Humor - Miscellaneous pithy quotes on religion

Horror Movie Survival - No, this won't help you survive your mother-in-law's visit

Hu's on First? - A little confusion in the Oval Office (by Jim Sherman)

I Have a Philosophical Secret - The lowest rated Jerry Springer show ever

The Island - Nothing like international stereotypes...

Lessons Learned at Fifty - I'd love to know the actual source for this

A Math Tale - Why parochial school can be good for your math skills

Memo to a New Priest - Very, very, very funny (but a wee bit sacrilegious)

Never Happen on Star Trek - 19 things that you'll never see on Star Trek

New Dog Breeds - A few new dog breeds

Out of the Mouths - Children complete several common clichés.

The Perfect Worker - Reading between the lines, literally

Search Committee Report - Perhaps goes too easy on the committees

Sermon Fun - Things to do during boring sermons (but not mine!)

Sex - Funny Quotes - Humorous quotes on the national pastime. New!

Simpsonisms - It's like reading George W. Bush, only funny

Snow Shoveller's Diary - Reasons 1-100 to not live in the Northern Wasteland

Socio-Economic Quiz - Why not a few more stereotypes!?

State Mottos - OK - just a couple more

Star Wars Euphemisms - If you get 'em, you probably need 'em

Theology of Toys - Silly, I know, but still amusing

The Über-Legend - Save yourself the trouble, just forward this one.

Y1K - Everything Old is New Again

 

New! -  denotes a recent addition